


Shaggy Dog #4  Buck and the Dentist

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-05-05
Updated: 2000-05-05
Packaged: 2018-11-10 17:09:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11131110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: A Shaggy Dog is a story with a, usually painful, pun at the end.  This has Buck, flatulence and a dentist.





	Shaggy Dog #4  Buck and the Dentist

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).
    
    
    Title: Shaggy Dog #4: Buck and the Dentist 
    Author: Marian 
    Category: Humor/parody 
    Ratings/warnings: G. If you hate puns, or flatulence do not read this
    story .Pairings: none 
    Spoilers: none 
    Disclaimers: The Due South Characters Belong to Alliance.
    Teaser: A Shaggy Dog story is a long or short story ending with a, usually
    painful, pun or joke. This one involves Buck and a Dentist. 
    Archive: Please archive. 
     
    *Fraaaaapppppooottt* 
    
    "Oh dear," Thought Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP, " That sound heralds
    the arrival of Sergeant Buck Frohbisher" Fraser then peeked out of his
    office at the consulate. 
    
    Sure enough, Frohbisher came into view. Fraser noted that the Sergeant
    appeared to have some swelling on his lower right mandible. "Fraser,
    my boy, it is wonderful to see you aga�ooohhwww" 
    Buck cradled his jaw in his palm and bent over in agony, simultaneously
    emitting a *Ssssqquueeeeeffftuuup* from the vicinity of his backside.
    
    Buck straightened up, saying: "Diefenbaker, you naughty beast! Benton 
    you really should see to that animals diet." 
    
    "Yes, of course sir. If I may be of assistance sir perhaps I could 
    get you something to relieve your pain'" 
    
    "Nonsense. I'm a Mountie. Pain builds character and.. ooowwwiiieee!"- 
    Fraser tried, manfully, to ignore the rather noisy sounds coming out 
    of both ends of the Sergeants' body. 
    
    Suddenly the door to Thatchers office opened and she bellowed: 
    "Constable, how many times have I told you to keep your wolf quiet in
    this consulate? I can't work with all this howling, growling and�Oh,
    Sergeant Frohbisher I had not realized you had arrived yet." Buck snapped
    to attention, wincing in agony as his teeth clamped together. "Oowwww"
    *pppfffftteeerrrp*
    
    "Sergeant, am I mistaken or do you need the services of a dentist?"
    
    "Why, no sir. I am fine. Just a little twinge." 
    
    "Your face is swollen. I don't want the RCMP to have to deal with any
    long-term problems with your teeth. I order you to see a dentist, immediately!
    Fraser, you will accompany him and make sure he gets the proper treatment."
    
    "Yes, sir" the two Mounties said in unison. 
     
    *Frabadabapidddf* 
    
    A dental technician came into the waiting room of a nearby dentists office.
    "Alright, who is next in line for the dentist?" 
    
    All fingers in the room pointed to the notably gaseous man in red. Buck
    was pleasantly surprised, as there were others here before him. "See,
    Benton, Americans can be polite. Even they recognize that a busy man
    in uniform needs to return to duty. Thank you kindl... ooooowwwwweeeerrrr"
    
    *Thapthapthap* 
    
    "I'll just wait out here in the waiting room for you sir." Fraser quickly
    moved away from Buck. In the treatment room, Dr. Scrivell, DDS, examined
    Buck with a mirror and a dental pick. As he probed the problem area,
    Buck tensed, moaned and.. *Hhhhoooonndddaaa*  The doctor probed the area again.
    
    *Hhhhoonnddaaa* 
    
    "Well, Sergeant Frohbisher, you appear to have an abscess in your second
    bicuspid on the lower right mandible. Let me check the extent of the
    damage�" Once again a loud *Hhhoooonnnnndddaaaaa* emanated from
    the area of the sergeants backside as the doctor probed the abscess.
    Intrigued, the doctor made a few notations on a chart. 
    "Now we will anesthetize the area and treat the abscess. This will take
    a bit of time. Relax sergeant." 
    
    In the waiting area Frasers acute hearing kept registering the multiple
    occurrences of the following sound: *Hhhooonnndddaaaaa* 
    Though embarrassed by his superior officers' frequent flatulence, he
    was curious as to the reason for its current consistency in tone. The
    odds of repeating the same sound in emissions were very high indeed.
    There it was again: *Hhhooonnnddaaa*  *Hhhhoooonnnnddddaaaa* 
     
    Eventually Buck came out, still somewhat woozy. The dentist escorted
    him. "Ah, Constable Fraser, please take the Sergeant home where he can
    rest. Here are some prescriptions for painkillers and antibiotics. I
    want to see him in 3 days for a follow up. *Pffffwwwaaaapppptth* 
    
    "Sit here sir, I would like a word with the dentist... er, pardon
    me Doctor, I couldn't help but notice that the Sergeants well... er..."
    
    "Farts?" The Doctor replied. 
    
    "Ahem, yes, when I heard them, his farts were rather of a singular sound
    quality." 
    
    The Doctor answered "Yes, I too noticed that and came to a profound 
    conclusion." 
    
    "Which is...?"
     
    "Abscess makes the fart go Honda." 
     
    The End 
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